shadownyc: (stephmck - 512 Happy Kiss)
[personal profile] shadownyc
THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS

Title: Chapter 16 – Ends Justify Means
Written By: [livejournal.com profile] shadownyc
Timeline: Post-513
Rating: PG-13 to R for language and sexual references
Warnings: Some angst
Summary: The lives of the QaF Family move forward. This fic was written for the NaNoWriMo 2007 challenge
Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters, Cowlip does…but wish I owned some of them


Links to Previous Chapters:

http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/195106.html (Chapter 1)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/195639.html (Chapter 2)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/197064.html (Chapter 3)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/197969.html (Chapter 4)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/198840.html (Chapter 5)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/199551.html (Chapter 6)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/200327.html (Chapter 7)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/201848.html (Chapter 8)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/203308.html (Chapter 9)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/203740.html (Chapter 10)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/204011.html (Chapter 11)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/204272.html (Chapter 12)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/205872.html (Chapter 13)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/207096.html (Chapter 14)
http://shadownyc.livejournal.com/208255.html (Chapter 15)


Chapter 16 – Ends Justify Means

It took three more days of Justin disappearing for hours on end to finish his painting. He wanted to be able to present it to Brian when the time was just right. It was obvious that Brian was beginning to wonder about Justin’s vanishing act but he knew that he had to trust him.

Their discussion last night had been as close to mysterious as they ever get. When Brian returned earlier than expected from work he found Justin exiting the shower.


“Sunshine, what’s with all the showers? And you seem to be coming home either the same time as me or just after me. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

“No, not really, I’m just working on a project.”

“A project? Have you been borrowing your mom’s car and heading out to the house to fix it up or have you been looking for local studio space?”

“Something like that. Sometimes I’m just at Michael’s new store unpacking new deliveries. What’s with all the questions, don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you, but you have to admit that whenever you talk about working on a project I’ve always been the one who’s come up with the short straw. I’ve certainly contributed to those events but I’ve become a bit leery of the phrase.”

Justin laughed at first and then the memories flooded back. He’d worked on so many projects since those earlier times that he had forgotten when he’d used the phrase to put off Brian in the past.

He approached Brian, clad in just a towel wrapped around his waist, and started helping him remove his coat, jacket and tie, amongst other unnecessary garments, “I can promise you without the shadow of a doubt that I am NOT and never will be seeing anyone behind your back AND I can also promise you that I am NOT creating agit prop art posters that will ultimately lead you to losing Kinnetik. Do you trust me?”

“I trust you with my life Sunshine. And that’s a very tall order.”

“It definitely is the tallest of orders,” Justin smirked has he rubbed Brian’s cock for emphasis. Somehow at this point Brian felt assured that there would be nothing to worry about and Justin would reveal his project in his own time. In the meantime there had been much more important things to think about and act on, so Brian took matters into his own hands and finished taking off his own clothes and helped Justin shed his towel as they both made their way to the bedroom. While the floor and the futon were fun from time to time, at 35 years of age, Brian was much more comfortable spending long, hard nights in their bed.

'Their bed'…it had a nice ring to it. And that was the last coherent thought for the night as the events of the evening turned much more energetic and life-affirming.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today was a very important day for everyone, but particularly for the Novotny-Bruckner clan. Ben was finally going to be released from the hospital. He’d started giving the doctors and nurses a very hard time (and not in a positive, life-affirming way) for the past two days and it was obvious that he was well on the way to a complete recovery.

There were no longer any signs of the pneumonia and the cough that had been virtually disabling, and his new combination of HIV meds seemed to have begun to balance out his system to a level that his doctor was quite pleased with. A couple of more weeks and he’d be cleared to return to work. Ben was only angry that the doctor felt the need to wait so long before he could resume teaching. The doctor cautioned that he wanted one more follow-up x-ray and another complete blood testing order to insure that all systems were go.

Ben acquiesced and the doctor finally agreed to let him go home to finish his recuperation. Michael was over the moon and Hunter was relieved to know that both his dads would be around for a long time. Although he’d never say it out loud, each success that Ben achieved in his fight to survive and live to the fullest, was one that Hunter knew he could fight to, if and when the time came. Although he didn’t dwell on his HIV status it was something he thought about every day, and seeing Ben so sick escalated his fear for his own longevity as well as Ben’s.

Brian and Justin drove to Michael and Ben’s house early in the morning to bring groceries and make sure everything was in order for the family’s imminent arrival. They had volunteered to do this ‘menial task’, as Brian had put it, to avoid the mob scene that was assuredly going to be taking place at the hospital.

Hunter insisted on staying home from school to help bring Ben home and Debbie wouldn’t be stopped. So as not to make everyone crowd into one small car, Carl joined Debbie so they would drive separately and give Michael, Ben and Hunter a few moments of peace and quiet before they reached home.

Lindsay insisted on cooking dinner for them that night and would bring Gus over with his wide array of dvd’s and toys to keep him occupied. Michael had requested Brian and Justin be there since he felt he owed them so much for helping him wake up and see the serious condition Ben was in. He knew if Brian hadn’t pushed Ben, and himself, to confront the truth that Ben might not be there.

Brian, of course, denied having that big an impact and shrugged it off but said that with Gus around he would at least have someone to talk to who would be worth spending the evening with. Justin laughed and added that he’d bring by the boards for the next Rage issue. He’d been working hard on them, and was pleased with the results. He was definitely feeling quite inspired during the last week.

Ted and Emmett both bowed out of the fray and decided to take over the care and feeding of the Novotny-Bruckners the next day.

Melanie had been contacted by phone and had supported Michael by letting him spend time chatting with Jenny Rebecca. Although the conversations were clearly one-sided, Michael always seemed to feel better after them. During one of the more recent conversations, when it was clear that the crisis was behind them, Melanie confessed to Michael the status of her relationship with Lindsay and that it was truly over.

Michael was shocked, hurt and concerned but appreciated being informed…this time. Melanie told him that the one thing she and Lindsay both could agree on was that they belonged back in Pittsburgh where they could raise the children together, in as much of a sibling relationship as they could. Separating JR and Gus was not an option and one that both mothers realized was important to respect.

Michael told Melanie that he wouldn’t give her a hard time about custody of JR this time and that he’d be happy visiting her more frequently and would help with financial support once his new store was off the ground. While there were still many questions in the air, it was clear that Michael was feeling much more optimistic.

Justin had just finished putting away the last of the perishables when a thought occurred to him, “Brian.”

“Yes, dear,” Brian deadpanned.

Justin tilted his head and smiled. “The announcement of our wedding and reception; if we can pull this off without anyone else figuring it out, well…”

“Well...Sunshine, I’ve never known you to be tongue-tied. Out with it.”

“I was just thinking that the family may actually get mad at us.”

“For what?”

“The timing, and waiting so long to tell them, and NOT having them witness the event.”

Brian looked at Justin and saw the concern, confusion and burgeoning regret. He held Justin and ran his hand through Justin’s soft hair. God, that was a grounding feeling. It was almost like touching Justin gave him some kind of added strength. He smiled wondering if that was another super-power component that Michael and Justin could add to Rage.

“Look Justin, we did what we wanted. We got married our way and that’s what’s important isn’t it? Or are you regretting the decision we made?”

“No,” Justin immediately answered back. “I don’t regret anything.”

“Your mother would have been the one to feel the loss of not seeing her baby boy married the most, and look at how well she took the news. You would have thought we’d just handed her the winning Power Ball ticket.”

“I guess you’re right. But doesn’t it concern you at all how Debbie and Michael will react?”

“Not in the least. If both of them really love us, as they’ve professed time and again, then they’ll be as happy as your mom.”

“Okay, but what about the timing?”

“Mikey and I have shared so much. I think in his quirky little brain he’ll be honored rather than offended.”

“If you say so. I just want our life to start out on the right foot.”

Brian tilted Justin’s chin up and kissed him deeply. The two continued to kiss for a couple of lovely and passionate minutes. “I thought we already did start out on the right foot.” Brian smiled.

“Oh yeah, we sure as hell did,” and Justin pulled Brian down for a little more tongue exploration.

“After the past few days, I definitely think hell is our destination – at least according to my mother’s version of the world.”

“As long as we’re in hell together I don’t give a shit where we end up. And fuck your mother and her distorted viewpoint.”

“I’d rather not.” Justin smacked Brian in the chest.

“And fuck my father and his distorted and bigoted views, hell, they can go fuck each other for all I care.”

“Sunshine, that’s a grotesque image.”

“Well, fuck ‘em all.”

“Okay, Justin, fuck ‘em all. We move forward how we want with no doubts or regrets?”

“You bet.”

“You’re betting on something, I want in on it,” Hunter announced as he walked in carrying three of the plants that Ben had received in the hospital.

“What the fuck is that,” Brian asked, looking at Hunter’s bundles.

“These are plants.”

“I know what the fuck they are, but why did you bring them home. You could have given them to the nurses or some other patients.”

Ben responded, “If people thought enough to send these to me, I want to care for them myself and not just leave them behind. Each one comes with a special thought from a special friend or family member.”

“Ah, the good Professor is definitely back.”

“Thank you, Brian, I’ll take that as a compliment, whether it was meant as one or not.” Brian chuckled and moved on to help Michael bring in the rest of Ben’s accumulated hospital belongings while Justin helped Ben get settled on the living room sofa.

“What are you doing there?” Michael asked.

“Michael, I’ve spent way too much time in bed. While I know I still have to recuperate there’s certainly nothing wrong with doing it in the presence of my friends. I promise to behave but I just can’t spend another day in an actual bed.”

“Okay, as long as you keep your promise.” Michael shrugged.

“Michael, I know that when I was sick I wasn’t completely honest with you. When I’m out of my right mind I seem to behave way out of character, and I’m truly sorry for that. I realize now that I should have been up front with you from the start, despite the situation with your store. My illness and my lack of common sense, ultimately, added to your stress and I should have seen that, but I wasn’t seeing clearly.”

“Thank you for that Ben. Brian may think apologies are bullshit, but I appreciate genuine ones. And with all the changes he’s been through, I bet he even feels the same way.”

“I probably should apologize to him, too. I put him in a very precarious situation between you and me and then blamed him for breaking my confidence.”

“He really didn’t think that he did. Brian, and Justin too, were really there for me when I needed them through everything.”

“And we’re stuck here, again, Mikey.” Brian announced as he and Justin came in with bottles of water and a tray full of light snacks.

“You know, Brian, now that I think about it, you’re really good at getting everyone in order to create amazing events. I hope this means that you’ll be at the Grand Opening of All The Rage.”

“Oh, I definitely plan to be there Michael. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I love watching you play with all your toys.” Brian raised his eyebrow and smirked.

“Hey, I’m the only one who watches him play with his toys!” Ben chimed in.

“Professor, he’s all yours.”

Michael continued, “Justin, is everything really in order at the new store? I’ve only gotten there once or twice in the past week but it looks like you have everything under control…including organizing the back storage room.” Michael winked at Justin.

“Uhmmm, yeah, everything’s all set.” Justin looked directly at Michael and mouthed, “Thank you,” silently.

“I just regret not being more of a part of the actual assembly of my own place.” Michael said in a faraway voice.

“You know, Michael, practically everyone in this family has committed to stopping by here all day and all night for the next week to take care of us. I don’t see why you can’t get more involved with Emmett in setting up the Grand Opening and putting your own personal finishing touches on YOUR store.”

“I think that’s a great idea, Ben,” Justin added. “I’m sure Emmett could use some guidance on the comic book-Rage theme that he’s been working on and you ARE the expert.”

“I am, aren’t I,” Michael declared proudly. “It’s about time I made that store my own. Ben, if you’re sure you don’t mind, whenever someone is visiting I may just take off, even if it’s just Hunter that’s with you.”

“Hey, what’s this 'just Hunter' bullshit. I can take care of Ben.”

“You know it partner. See Michael, I’ll be in good hands when Hunter comes home from school each day.”

“It’ll be great working on calculus with you again. It’s one thing to have a teacher for a parent, but working with an accountant…well, it took all my willpower not to fall asleep when Ted was tutoring me.”

That got a laugh from everyone and the biggest from Brian.

Michael excused himself to call Emmett and start to discuss, in earnest, the details of the grand opening party. He was newly energized by the encouragement of his friends and family and realized this was just what he needed to connect to his new place. The previous store had always been Red Cape Comics, formerly known as Buzzy’s. But now, this store, was all his. The previous owner was gone and it had not been a comic shop before this. Although money would be tight for a while, Michael knew that somehow this was his chance of a lifetime and it was because of the contributions of all his friends and family.

Hell, if he thought about it, everyone, including Jennifer Taylor, had a hand in setting up the store. On top of everything his little Honeybun was coming home. Michael couldn’t remember the last time he was that happy. Although he was sad that Mel and Linds couldn’t seem to make their relationship work, it had been obvious for a few years that their partnership was in trouble. If everyone was really honest, they had been having trouble ever since Gus was born, and their troubles never stopped, they just took breaks.

Let’s face it, having Jenny Rebecca certainly didn’t do anything to improve their home life, and when they finally thought they could make a go of it in a different environment all together, the disaster continued. Pittsburgh and family was never their problem. They had just grown apart and wanted different things. It wasn’t even that Lindsay sometimes toyed with her hetero side, but that the two had become so different. Even their kids couldn’t keep them connected.

As Michael dialed the phone, he noticed himself in the mirror. He looked tired and bit haggard from the past couple of weeks, but he had a genuine smile on his face.

When the phone picked up he said, “Hey, Em, how about we plan the grand opening bash of the century?”

A big, “Yay!” came through loud and clear from the other end.

[TBC]

Yay!

Date: 2007-12-25 06:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foreverfolked.livejournal.com
Here you go again, tying up more loose ends and making them better. I too always disliked the 'project' reference about the posters after he'd used it for Ian.

This was a great, feel good chapter! I can't wait to hear about Justin's painting and the reception and how the family reacts. And Brian is totally right! They did what they wanted how they wanted it and THAT IS WHAT MATTERS MOST!

Wonderful story!

Can't wait for more, Rory

Re: Yay!

Date: 2007-12-25 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that you're enjoying the loose ends that I've been working to tie up. The reference to "projects" always bugged me.

I'm so glad you're enjoying those closing chapters to this fic. These final moments were a labor of love...and a bit schmoopy.

Thank you! :D

Date: 2007-12-25 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jans-intentions.livejournal.com
It's funny, but I always thought B/J had what it took to go on and M/L was going to fail...sometime.

Really enjoyed another chapter. Nice to see it today.

Date: 2007-12-25 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that you took the time to read this today.

I really thought that M/L were better friends than lovers...especially near the end.

I know it's getting a bit schmoopy...but I love schmoop. LOL

Date: 2007-12-25 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] film102.livejournal.com
Dear Shadow,

Haven't read it yet. Saving it for a quiet time in my clean living room with the lights on and settling in just to read the posts everyone makes today.

Thank you so much for posting your stories and I'm sorry I've been so remiss with commenting about yours. I'm truly enjoying each chapter and part.

I guess it's time to go eat something and bathe, fix my hair and enjoy the rest of the day.

Love you,

M Lyn

Date: 2007-12-25 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Enjoy the rest of your day and I hope that when you get the time to read that you'll enjoy the story. :D

Date: 2007-12-26 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damietta.livejournal.com
Thanks for the holiday posting!

I thought the comment above about Michael and Ben being more friends than anything was interesting. I never saw any "heat" between them ever. But, who knows what works for couples and no two are alike.

The image of Brian pulling his fingers through Justin's hair to ground himself was wonderful. (I think the "gang" will forgive them the wedding if there is a big party to come!)

I'm glad Michael (et al) is reopening the store (and the title is great). It is a good step in putting things back together. And, I liked that he realized that it would truly be "his" and not just taking someone's store over.

And, the suspense on Justin's "project" is killing me..I cannot wait until Brian sees it!

Date: 2007-12-26 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'm glad to see that you're still enjoying this fic as it comes to a close. I have to admit that these last couple of chapters were a labor of love that meant a great deal to me and that I wanted to share with all of you.

The word "project" became so synonymous with painful results that I wanted to address that when this part of the story came about.

Just one more chapter and then the epilogue.

Date: 2007-12-26 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pogogal.livejournal.com
I love this story. I finally caught up on the last few chapters. Love that Brian and Justin *finally* got married 'on their terms'. Can't wait to read what else happens.
Happy Holidays.

Date: 2007-12-26 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Happy Holidays to you, too!

Thank you! I'm so glad that you were able to catch up and are enjoying this story. The "wedding" was very much in Brian & Justin style to fit their personalities--definitely on their terms.

The next chapter will be up in a couple of days.

Date: 2007-12-26 03:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devotedfan.livejournal.com
It's wonderful how even though Brian trust Justin,
he can't help wondering what Justin's been up to.

I love it when Justin asks Brian do you trust me? And Brian says “I trust you with my life Sunshine. And that’s a very tall order.”

Date: 2007-12-26 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
It was so important to me to show that while Brian and Justin are clearly commited and in love, they are still human and get concerned about behaviors they've seen in the past.

This time Brian has decided to try the optimistic view and trust Justin.

I like that line as well. ;)

Thank you for your lovely feedback!

Date: 2007-12-26 10:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickiebg.livejournal.com
Oh, I do hate it when fics start the wind-down and you know the end is near...I'm glad that Brian was honest enough to mention 'project' and that Justin responded immediately and honestly.

Looking forward to the finale.

Date: 2007-12-26 11:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I hate this part too. I've had so much fun with this story and all the wonderful reactions to it.

While Brian and Justin are clearly commited and grown-up now, they're still human and have insecurities that reflect issues in the past. The big change is that Brian called Justin on it and Justin can understand why.

The next chapter and an epilogue will all be up in the next few days.

Date: 2007-12-26 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esmaro.livejournal.com

You are doing suc a great job with this story. I can't wait to read the last chapter & the Epilogue.

Date: 2007-12-26 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you're so enthusiastic about this story. :D

Date: 2007-12-26 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] llvoncan.livejournal.com
I do wonder how the rest of the family will take to the marriage. And I also wonder how you are going to spring it on us and them.....
Great chapter. Can't wait for the grand opening and the grand unveiling!!

Date: 2007-12-26 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that I've been able to keep your interest right up to the end. Thank you so much for all your sweet words and support!

The next chapter will be up in just a couple of days. :D

Date: 2007-12-26 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alasse.livejournal.com
Wonderful chapter, Shadow! I'm so glad Ben is finally home :) I thought your reflection on Mel and Lindsay's relationship was spot on, they were always in trouble, or sabotaged their relationship when it was going well... Loved how Justin assured Brian about the project, too. It's great seeing them grown up like that.
Can't wait for more!!
Hugs,
Arlad

Date: 2007-12-26 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I always look forward to reading your comments!

Right from the very first time I watched QaF I wondered why Mel & Linds kept getting back together. They never were truly happy with one another. There were many highs but even more lows throughout the series. It's good to know that you agree with me.

While Brian and Justin have a solid and mature relationship now, it's important that they remain human...part of that is having insecurities based on past behavior.

*Big Hugs back*

Date: 2007-12-26 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akintay.livejournal.com
Great chapter. I'm glad Ben is home and apparently doing really well & that Michael can start concentrating on his shop now.
I loved the dialogue in this chapter, especially the one with Brian, Justin, Michael, Ben & Hunter - there was so much familiarity and friendship in it and that made it wonderful to read.

*hugs*

Date: 2007-12-26 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Thank you! It was a long haul, but Ben finally was able to get home. It's nice to have Michael behaving as an adult.

I'm so glad that the dialogue worked for you. When I write and then proof dialogue I always say it out loud and picture the entire scene. If I can't I change it until I'm comfortable.

There is definitely familiarity between all the guys at this point and they're all relaxed with each other.

*BIG HUGS back*

Date: 2007-12-28 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rromantic.livejournal.com
oh, yeah!!! everything's starting to go right again! *sigh* I do so like happy stories. LOL

lovely chapter, I can't wait for the big bash, not to say anything about BJ's big announcement... or small announcement... or however they choose to break the news. :-)

Date: 2007-12-28 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'll be posting the next chapter shortly.

I love happy endings...those are the only B/J endings that I can possibly stand. You'll never get anything other than that from me. LOL

I'm so glad that you're continuing to read. :D

Date: 2007-12-30 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rromantic.livejournal.com
absolutely! NEVER enough smooch, the fucking can't be too hot, always BJ raw love... LOL

NEVER room for deaths, rapes and any kind of other trauma!

my Purr-fect Love story is insanely ridiculously romantic... SO soppy! :)) I finished most of the framework, now I'm fine tuning and dear lord, they are kissing on the sidewalk... in the parking area... on their way up to the loft... diner... can't keep their hands off one another - I might need to tone it down a bit, but it makes me SO happy everytime I read through it! LOL

Date: 2007-12-28 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herefordroad.livejournal.com
i think i'm finally up to date on this fic, i hope so...i don't like lagging behind!

my favorite laugh in this chapter came at ted's expense:

“It’ll be great working on calculus with you again. It’s one thing to have a teacher for a parent, but working with an accountant…well, it took all my willpower not to fall asleep when Ted was tutoring me.”

michael is thinking and acting like a grown-up, i'm enjoying the growth of his character.

as for hunter, i found this particularly poignant:

"Although he’d never say it out loud, each success that Ben achieved in his fight to survive and live to the fullest, was one that Hunter knew he could fight to, if and when the time came. Although he didn’t dwell on his HIV status it was something he thought about every day, and seeing Ben so sick escalated his fear for his own longevity as well as Ben’s."

brian and justin are communicating better than ever as evident when brian actually expressed how he felt at hearing about justin's "project".

great chapter.

jeannie

Date: 2007-12-28 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
Yes, you're all caught up...for the moment. I'm about to post the next chapter. :)

I couldn't resist that line about Ted...it was such a Hunter thing to say, because he doesn't mince words.

It would seem remiss to skip the impact of Ben's illness on Hunter. Hunter was impacted by Vic's death and he barely knew him. This is his father and mentor, including how to handle his HIV status/health. I'm glad that you found that moving.

There are many ways to show that while Brian and Justin are truly in a solid relationship, they are both still human. Humans have insecurities, the key for Brian is expressing them appropriately and the key for Justin was to react with understanding. I'm glad that worked for you.

Thank you so much! Off to post chapter 17. :D

Date: 2007-12-28 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sydneyalexis.livejournal.com
I'd forgotten that Michael called JR honeybun. It was probably intentional because I can just imagine the utter mortification the poor child will go through when he calls her that in front of all of her friends.

Poor JR. I can't even imagine having Michael and Debbie related to her. She's either always going to be flushed red in embarrassment or the loudest, brashest kid ever.

Then again, being embarrassed by your parents in front of your friends is a rite of passage.

As with other chapters, you tied this into both your story and canon by drawing allusions to previous events. (Something that Cowlip was sadly lacking)

Two tiny nits:

-- Today was a very important day for everyone, but particularly for the Novotny-Bruckner clan.

'Today' could be interpreted as being a switch from past to present tense, and it's a little bit jarring. (Not enough for me to say 'OMG! Edit!', but I thought I'd point it out.)


-- Let’s face it, having Jenny Rebecca certainly didn’t do anything to improve their home life, and when they finally thought they could make a go of it in a different environment all together, the disaster continued.

This is a comma splice. 'Let's face it' is a complete sentence; you is the understood noun and let is the verb.

The easiest fix is to swap the comma in between it and having for a semi-colon.

Date: 2007-12-29 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
JR definitely has her work cut out for her with the DNA she's carrying. LOL

I'll fix that awkwardness. Thank you for the suggestions, I really do appreciate them!!!

Date: 2008-04-09 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosy5000.livejournal.com
Glad to see Brian and Justin having that trust between them. A true sign they are both growing up. :)

So happy Ben's home and doing better. :)

Date: 2008-04-10 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I'm glad you see how much B/J's relationship has grown.

It's great to see Ben on the mend. I could never kill him.

Date: 2008-11-16 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bkrave.livejournal.com
I never thought that Mel and Lindsay should have gotten back together after their last break up, i think they would have done a lot better apart from each other just too much resentment from the beginning all starting with Lindsay having Brian's baby.

Date: 2008-11-16 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadownyc.livejournal.com
I think M/L had too many problems in their relationship to ever truly get passed them, if they were honest with each other.
Page generated Mar. 25th, 2026 07:34 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios